Morning Wave Blog

There are half-full, brightly-colored plastic cups on the floor everywhere, even in the bathtub.
There's always that one blonde girl, bawling her eyes out in a corner.


It's best not to assume that the person closest to you has any control over their digestive function.



You sneak off to the bathroom knowing that as soon as you sit down, someone's going to start banging on the door.



Probably 80% of the stains on the furniture contain DNA.


You've got someone in your face at 3 a.m. looking for a drink.


There's definitely going to be a fight.



There are crumpled-up underpants everywhere.



Curtain rods and towel bars will be ripped down from the walls, possibly leaving gaping holes.

You lie to your parents about what's going on there.

Got the munchies?....stick your hand in the couch.

At least one person is lying on the floor, either face up or face down, singing at the top of their lungs.

There's always at least one guy sitting around with his hand down his pants.

Your one goal is to get someone in bed and, when you're finally successful, you're so tired all you want to do is go to sleep.

Let's not forget the guy in underwear and rainboots standing on top of the couch saying "Hey y'all, watch this."

"Ketchup" is an often heard answer to "what do you want for dinner?"

There's bound to be someone dancing naked in the front yard.

People can't climb the stairs without using their hands.

Some little guy is going to spit up and then pass out with his face in your cleavage and a drunken smile on his face.

You constantly say things like "Please, dont lick my pants!" and wonder why on earth you would EVER have to say that out loud.


*taken from suburbansnapshots.com

Combine all ingredients, pour over pork in crock pot. Cook on medium low for about 4 hours or until meat can be pulled (shredded) with a fork.

40 Things You Wish You Could Say At Work

40 Things You Wish You Could Say At Work


1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it. 
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 
3. How about never? Is never good for you? 
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. 
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way. 
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. 
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message. 
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant. 
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a darn word you're saying. 
10. Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again. 
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid. 
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. 
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a darn. 
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. 
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you. 
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. 
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist. 
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. 
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!? 
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. 
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off. 
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial. 
23. And your crybaby whiny opinion would be...? 
24. Do I look like a people person? 
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. 
26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left. 
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. 
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave? 
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. 
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed. 
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. 
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. 
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1? 
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses 
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it 
36. Chaos, Panic, Disorder-my work here is done. 
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun? 
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary. 
39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon? 
40. Oh I get it... like humor... but different.

• Sometimes we just don't want to talk. Don't take it personally.
• We notice other women because we are men and we are alive. This does not mean we're planning to dump you and jump them.
• Our favorite T-shirts are not "disgraceful." They show our loyalty to our college, our favorite sports team, our favorite beer, our favorite vacation.
• Get to the point.
• You can't complain that there are no good guys around while some of us are still single.
• If you ask us, "Do you think she's prettier then me?" we just might say, "Yes." Then what are you going to do?
• Don't expect even a great relationship with us to solve all your problems. Just because we love you doesn't mean your cellulite, your credit card debt or your bad mood will disappear.
• Breathe occasionally so we can get a word in.
• For us, driving is not just a means of going from point A to point B. It's an opportunity to control a couple of tons of steel. We drive, therefore, we are.
• If you want us to notice something, help us out by saying something like, "I went to the beauty shop today."
• If you have to have a cat please don't name him "Mister" anything.
• Hide the self help books when we come over. They make us nervous.
• We don't go shopping. When we need something, we buy it.
• We believe our bodily functions are perfectly normal and, at times, quite amusing.
• We don't believe you when you say money isn't important to you.
• It's not that we don't want to make you happy, it's just that sometimes we don't know how.
• If it itches, it will be scratched.
• If you ask a question you don't really want an answer to, expect an answer you didn't want to hear.
• Don't ask us what were thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss topics such as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.
• Sundays equals sports. Period.
• Gadgets are as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
• When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
• You have enough clothes.
• You have too many shoes.
• Crying is blackmail.
• Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.
• Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it.
• No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar you know we check.
• Most guys own three or four pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair -- out of 30 -- would look good with your dress?
• Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
• Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
• A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
• Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
• It is neither in your best interest or ours to take any quiz together.
• Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.
• If you won't dress like the Victoria Secret girls, don't expect us to act like the soap opera guys.
• If something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
• You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
• Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
• If you wear a Wonderbra and a low-cut blouse, you lose the right to complain about having your boobs stared at.
• Our relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.
• Men see a limited number of colors, like Windows default settings. Peach is a fruit, not a color. Same goes for melon.
• If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing" we will act like nothing is wrong.