Chrissy Teigen opened up on The Ellen DeGeneres Show about how her pregnancy loss was a “transformative” experience for her — and how “in a way, it really saved” her.

She said that four months later “it seems like so long ago. And also, of course, everything was such a blur. Even thinking back to it now, I am still in therapy about it and I’m still coming to terms with it.”

“I have maternity clothes, and there are things that I bought for my eighth month and my ninth month. So it’s just hard because he would’ve been born this week, so you look at those things and you have these constant reminders.”

my little jack would have been born this week so I’m a bit off. I truly feel kicks in my belly, but it’s not phantom. I have surgery for endometriosis tomorrow…but the period feeling this month is exactly like baby kicks. sigh.

— chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) February 3, 2021

At the same time, she says she was “raised in a household that was very open about loss,” as it helps her reflect on how it “can be a beautiful thing.”

“It was a really transformative thing for me and in a way it really saved me, because I don’t think that I would’ve discovered therapy and then sobriety and this path of feeling good about myself and feeling like a new person,”

“And then you think about all the people that go through it in silence and you get really sad for them. Ours was so public, so so many people were so supportive,” she adds. “You really gain this incredible amount of empathy. And I really, somehow, think I’m a better person now. And I just have the best support system ever.”

(PEOPLE)

Chrissy Teigen Says ‘Unimaginable’ Pregnancy Loss ‘Transformed’ Her {WATCH}

Chrissy Teigen opened up on The Ellen DeGeneres Show about how her pregnancy loss was a “transformative” experience for her — and how “in a way, it really saved” her.

She said that four months later “it seems like so long ago. And also, of course, everything was such a blur. Even thinking back to it now, I am still in therapy about it and I’m still coming to terms with it.”

“I have maternity clothes, and there are things that I bought for my eighth month and my ninth month. So it’s just hard because he would’ve been born this week, so you look at those things and you have these constant reminders.”

At the same time, she says she was “raised in a household that was very open about loss,” as it helps her reflect on how it “can be a beautiful thing.”

“It was a really transformative thing for me and in a way it really saved me, because I don’t think that I would’ve discovered therapy and then sobriety and this path of feeling good about myself and feeling like a new person,”

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