Put That Foot Down!

Amber in Suffolk wrote in because her boyfriend is ditching her for a “Family” dinner! They had already made plans to hang out Friday night after work, then her boyfriend got asked to this dinner which will include his son, daughter-in-law, DiL’s mother, and boyfriend’s ex wife. Quite the crowd! And apparently this crowd specifically doesn’t want Amber to come. She mentions a big age gap between her and her boyfriend, and how that might be making some of them (daughter-in-law) uncomfortable. Amber was hurt by the whole thing and wants to ask her boyfriend not to go at all. Not only had they already made plans, but she should be there at the dinner too!

What did the people say? As usual it all starts with communication. It’s time to figure out how serious he is and how long she’ll continue to be excluded from things like this. Everybody thought she was justified enough to ask him not to go, but how she approaches the conversation could make a big difference. It’s always a good idea to avoid the accusatory tone. Simply ask him why they don’t want her there, and how he feels about all that. Jessica had the suspicion that maybe the boyfriend is keeping her as a “side-piece.” That would indeed be wrong and unfortunate for Amber. If the relationship is young then we certainly believe it’s a valid concern. In any case we all encourage Amber to speak up in this case!!

Marcia in Virginia Beach, we LOVED your response!